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Welcome to sarcasm at it's finest


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deanscabbages:

lovelixst:

rivendellcustomersupport:

this was designed for very young children and i am not a young child i am a 260 pound man

how did you get in there.

how did you get out of there




englishproblems:

Happy Birthday Harry!

Happy birthday, J. K. Rowling, too!


meladoodle:

this one time this bird smacked into our window and it got really injured and couldn’t walk properly so me and my sister tried helping it and gave it water, bread and spent a day nursing it back to health. it looked alright after a while so we took it outside. after about 5 seconds, it did the biggest shit on the table and flew away. i think about that bird a lot. fuck that bird man






j5h:

meatloves:

the cucumber saga

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largecoin:

she has a framed photo of herself walking through her door





karenkavett:

"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE MEN?!" - Is Feminism Sexist? by marinashutup

This video should be required watching. Just, for everyone.



quadguyin-china:

salt-in-my-hair-and-heart:

liteskint:

gigaguess:

Oh.

My.

God.

B Y E

Am I allowed to tell this joke at parties??

She is so satisfied with that joke.








is-there-anyone-else-named-etta Asked:
Why do black people straighten their hair if non-black people can't get corn row/ box braid/ whatever you consider a "black" hairstyle

My answer:

skinandbands:

lordbape:

why do white people always try to make this non-point false equivalence when they know these are two completely different realities that don’t compare on any plane whatsoever

white people not only make black people hate their hair at an individual emotional level but literally at a systemic level in which black people are and have been for the last century unable to get jobs, attend colleges, enlist in the armed forces, etc. because of the treatment of their natural hair. there literally is nothing white people have to compare…

white people are not getting box braids because they feel pressured to, or out of fear that they won’t have access to a job or anything, but instead because they know it’s an “edgy black people thing” that they’re doing to be counter culture and subversive. there is literally no pressure on earth for anyone INCLUDING BLACK PEOPLE to worship or utilize Black hairstyles or Black hair in its natural state and you fucking know it. It’s literally the complete opposite for white hair. grow up

white people are not gelling down baby hairs for social mobility or financial security or comfort or assimilation.

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Read the ads

"MEN WHO GO PLACES" "WAS IT HER RESUME OR HER RELAXER?" white people don’t have ads telling them "you will not be successful in life unless you have cornrows and box braids with gelled down baby hairs" because that isn’t the case. address this in the context of reality, maybe???

I have dreadlocks and I dare a bitch to cut them off



necrophilofthefuture:

so, the republicans of the House are suing Obama. This is what they decide to do with their time. Sue the president. for the first time in history. Nice. Productive.






asmilinggoddess:

this show is incredible


zootedboy:

if we skyping best believe im looking at myself in that lil window not u





    That year, Harry and Neville celebrated their birthdays together. The Leaky Cauldron was packed; every seat, counter, and potted plant was taken. At 11:59 PM, Ron raised his butterbeer, joined by forty others in the crowd. “To the new king of Gryffindor!” He slapped Neville’s shoulder, and the brass crown slipped off the grinning birthday man’s head slightly. The announcement had arrived yesterday: Neville was the new Gryffindor Head of House.
    The mechanical dragon on the clock pendulum roared, signaling midnight. Ginny pushed Harry up onto the raised hearth, next to Neville. Dean and Seamus was hoisting a goalpost-sized treacle tart through the crowd as Neville raised a new toast. “And to Harry! Still saving the world!”
    Harry protested the statement, but no one heard him over the cheers. Ron handed him a new mug. “Just take it, mate. Honestly, youngest Head Auror in Ministry history. I reckon you’re doomed to make the rest of us look bad.”