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Welcome to sarcasm at it's finest


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my sarcasm is at it’s best when I hear a stupid question




thewomanfromitaly:

jragonsoul:

thewomanfromitaly:

i am 100% for women responding very rudely and aggressively to disgusting unsolicited messages or dick pics from men on the internet

^^^^^^^^ I support this message with everything I have, except my penis, of which you will not be getting unwanted AND/OR unsolicited pics about.

excuse me hello 911 i have an emergency

yes

yes he’s finding a way to talk about his penis anyway






  • Person: Hi, do you want pizza?
  • Person Nobody Likes: No. I'm being healthy. I'm not eating pizza because...
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: It looks so good, but the calories--
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: ...and the fat--
  • Everyone: Okay.
  • Person Nobody Likes: Here's a long explanation of my diet...
  • Everyone:
  • Person Nobody Likes: But I wish I could cheat LOL!
  • Everyone:
  • Person Nobody Likes: That stuff is so bad for you, you know? But you have fun!
  • Everyone who has left to go live their lives:
  • Person Nobody Likes: It's the gluten, you know? I don't know what that is, but it's soooooo baaaaaad.
  • Crickets who have come out because it's midnight now:
  • Person Nobody Likes: I cheated and ate an M&M yesterday! I spent an hour at the gym to make up for it but so worth it LOL.
  • Unfeeling universe:
  • Person Nobody Likes: Have you tried using cauliflower instead of bread to make a pizza?
  • Existential dread:
  • Person Nobody Likes: It tastes exactly the same, and it's sooooo much healthier.
  • Death itself:
  • Person Nobody Likes: I'm gonna go drink my soy smoothie now.
  • Person Nobody Likes: It's a small size.
  • Person Nobody Likes: Gotta watch my thighs!
  • Apocalypse, the end of all space and time as we know it, the fathomless void of nothingness:
  • Person Nobody Likes: BUT YOU ENJOY THAT PIZZA, FRIEND.

kingcheddarxvii:

dazedover:

kingcheddarxvii:

Homestuck and Naruto are both gonna end in 2014. The last one standing is the winner

homestuck wins by default cuz it’s better. so.

what’s it like to go through life being so wrong






growlithes:

Squidward kept this shit real



the-uncalm-nipples:

nodaybuttodaytodefygravity:

nateriot:

Obama on gay adoption 

image

yeah totally ruining this country what a horrible guy

Fun fact: Obama has attempted to fix almost everything that he promised to fix, but the republicans have voted almost all of his bills out of congress. He’s not the problem.





ball-pointpen:

millilicious:

yes-i-am-lucifer:

You just know nobody is reblogging this for the dog

hooooly shit those lips

and that dog also

Someone find the original poster


cooldudebro:

dangergays:

just imagine your crush masturbating to the thought of you and making little moans and whispering your name and jESUS I NEED TO SIT DOWN

i wish id never signed up to this website






barebackqueen:

peroxides:

georgiaokweeffe:

chadleymacguff:

incubecfrmmars:

What the fuck is in the Malik blood? This is insane. Holy geezus…

i’m feeling very attacked right now

What t hefuck

i want to cry

I hate my life





mullingayr:

Why doesn’t anyone ever tell me about their day like go on anon and tell me what you had for lunch or a dumb commercial that you saw I don’t care I like getting pointless messages




sub-sequent:

happiest:

do u ever wonder if anyone else in the world is listening to the exact same song as you and on the exact same lyric as you 

no.. I am already familiar with the concept of FM radio







murdercityboulevard:

catsfurever:

can we just start a movement where we go to male politicians events and we ask them sexist questions like “if you are elected who will take care of the kids” and “what designer are you wearing tonight” “do you think that your stunted and constipated male emotions will affect your decision making”

that last one tho




kyashana:

what pisses me off is when girls are literally sexist towards their own gender. in my civics class we were asked why we never had a female president and all the girls said it was because we pms. wtf? wtf is that shit? and then when girls say that other girls shouldnt participate in no shave november its like? wtf? WHAT THE FUCK?????